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You may have heard about Lenore Skenazy’s (Author of Free Range Kids) latest Free Range Parenting Ploy: Pay Me to Ignore Your Kids. And a lot of people are calling her crazy. But before we get into that, let me share exactly what her program will offer as a benefit to your kids.

The Benefits of Lenore Skenazy’s Child Care Program: Pay Me to Ignore Your Kids

By participating in Lenore Skenazy’s program your kids will develop many skills and reach many developmental milestones. For example, independence, self-reliance, conflict management, social skills, self-regulation, leadership, self-control, creativity, communication skills as well as develop muscle, motor fitness, physical agility, and improve their cardiovascular health. This program will reduce ADHD type behaviours, increase feelings of self-worth and self-confidence as well as reduce the chance of developing childhood depression.

Wow. That sounds pretty damn stinking good, doesn’t it? I mean, sign my kids up for that!

How much does it cost?

$350. Sure. Why not, right? It’s New York and look at what your kids get for an hour and half of play every Wednesday. I mean, programming. To quote Lenore: “Pay for a class, enhance your child’s life.” (It’s what parents are used to.) In other words, we don’t put value on something unless we pay for it these days when it comes to our kids, their education, their development, and their well-being.

Why Lenore Skenazy is NOT Crazy

Lenore’s program plain and simple: bring your kids to the park (Wednesdays 3:45 to 5:15 p.m. in Central Park (85th and 5th)) and leave them there with Lenore. Then go away. She stays, but ignores the kids and lets them play as a huge group. The next Wednesday she meets up with everyone, then goes to the coffees hop and drinks coffee while the kids play in a big group.

Why Lenore’s “Pay Me to Ignore Your Kids” is not a crazy idea:

1. Lenore is making a point about our kids NEEDING to play outdoors, with a variety of different kids (ages, backgrounds, etc.) without adults interfering and solving every little issue. (See my list of benefits for her program above–those are the benefits of kids playing actively and independently outside, on their own, with other kids. I.e Free Play.)

2. Crime rates are LOWER now than when we were kids. I.e. the park is safer now than when we were kids and hanging out there without our parents. The world isn’t different–our thinking is. (Stupid TV shows–the only time they show a kid is when something bad is going to happen to them. How can we not be messed up when it comes to our perception of dangers to our children?)

3. Your child has a five-hundred thousand times greater chance of becoming OBESE due to a lack of active, outdoor play than of being abducted. In other words, in the long run they are going to be safer in the park than at home on the couch.

4. She is going to set kids loose in a SAFE place. A high traffic, safe neighbourhood. (Unless of course you watch CSI: New York and Law & Order.) As well it is in a playground–a place designed by experts, specifically for kids.

5. She’s going to be there for the first time. So if there are genuine issues, she is there.

6. After that she will be down the block. WHERE KIDS KNOW WHERE TO FIND HER.

7. Kids have cell phones these days. Do you think they can’t figure out how to get help if they need it?

8. There will be enough helicoptering moms of the really young kids hanging around just waiting to use their stash of  Band-Aids and wipes. These kids will be well-covered should they need it. There biggest risk will be the Ohmigodyoucan’tdothatwhereisyourmother types.

9. She is not saying to leave toddlers there alone. This is for kids aged 8 and up. At age 12 kids can babysit. That means they can be responsible and most likely play in the park for awhile with other kids.

10. She is trying to put the CHILD back into CHILDhood. And that, my dear friends, is commendable.

Right now Lenore needs support. She needs people to show up (even if the idea of leaving your kid in the park freaks you out) and she also needs someone to go on TV with her. (God, how I wish I was in New York. I would so be there in a heart beat.)

So if you want what is best for your kids. Really, and truly what is best for your kids, help the gal out. It’s in the name of play and in the name of play is ALWAYS what is best for our kids.

Are you in New York? Will you be helping Lenore out?

What are your thoughts? Share ’em below.

P.S. If you want to read more on Lenore’s other reinstate play ideas, check out this post on reseeding our playgrounds with kids.

Spread the word:

10 reasons why Lenore Skenazy (@freerangekids) is not crazy for ignoring your kids. http://t.co/qu48CGFU #parenting #NewYork

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) September 12, 2012

Got your Scaredy Pants on? How about swapping them for some Brave Pants this weekend?

I Double Dare and Triple Dog Dare You To Do Something “Scary” With Your Kids

I was emailing with Lenore Skenazy (one of my heroes in parenting and a woman I admire greatly) today and she noted that I had fallen into the scaredy pants trap. (Although she was much nicer about pinpointing that.) What? ME? Falling into all those stupid fears out there that are based on myths, overactive imaginations, and too many bad news stories from across the globe? Yep. Just a little bit. (You can read her blog post and my comment which started the conversation. Hint: It has to do with taking candy from strangers.)

So with that in mind, I’m issuing a dare.

I dare you to take your kids out and do some “scary” activity (or let them do it alone) this weekend. Something you are normally too afraid to do. It can be something ballsy such as hanging out with honeybees (see above photo), or more mundane such as eating nonorganic veggies or drinking out of a water fountain. Maybe it’s something like letting your kids have a little more independence such as slicing a pear on their own, or riding their bikes around the block (without an adult tagging after them), letting your kids walk the two blocks to get the mail, playing in the park without an adult, letting your teens go to the pool alone, or… whatever you feel will test your parenting scaredy pants.

Let it go and see what happens.

And no, I am not saying to let your kids take off with strangers or anything crazy like that. I’m talking about little things that have grown ‘scarier’ in your head than they are in reality. Those things that make you clamp down on free play and allowing your children to go out in the world and develop their independence and explore new things.

For example: Will your kids really get some awful illness from using a water fountain? Or will it simply boost their immune system (–actually, know what? Water fountains tend to be cleaner than the keyboards we let our kids play on)? Will being stung by a bee really be the end of the world? Or will hanging with bees teach your kids some amazing things about insects and where their food comes from? Will letting your kids ride around the block really end in an abduction or a fatal accident? Or will it allow your kids to gain independence and skills that will actually make them tougher, more confident, more resilient, and a lot more street smart?

What are our kids missing due to our fears?

So today, I challenge you to look at your fears head on and see what is holding your kids back from playing freely and discovering more about this incredibly amazing world we live in. Tell me your thoughts in the comment section.

Play on.

P.S. What am I going to do? I may allow my 9-year-old to cross the ‘big’ road to go to the local convenience store alone. She’s gone with a friend, but never alone. How does that sound?

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Do you wear parenting scaredy pants? Does it interfere with your kids' lives? Triple dog dare you challenge: http://t.co/hOz2aZoM

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) August 24, 2012

Why would she do that?

Think about the playground in your neighbourhood. If this playground were always empty, would you allow your children to go play there alone? You might think twice. However, if that playground were always buzzing with kids, you would probably be more likely to allow your child(ren) to venture there on their own because there is safety in numbers, right? Right.

Lenore’s idea is that if we take our kids to the playground as a purposeful “event” and do so all together, it ups the chances that we will run into other parents taking their kids to the park, feel better about leaving them there, and our kids, seeing that there are others playing in the park, are more likely to want to stay and enjoy themselves. Right? Right.

We are reseeding playgrounds with children.

Lenore Skenazy isn’t saying if our kids are really little to leave them there on their own. But the bigger kids, yes. (Such as age 9 and up.)

Plant the seed. Give it some water and sunlight, and let it grow. (Quit poking at it!)

Guess what happens when we leave our kids to play unscripted, unscheduled, and unsupervised? They gain independence, learn how to solve their own problems, help one another, and most of all… play. Today, when, for the first time since the 1940s, our kids are less likely to live as long as their parents and obesity is practically a contagious epidemic, it is even more important to let our children play outside and to play freely when they are out there. Why? Because children who engage in free play outdoors are less likely to become overweight.

Where does all this bubble-wrapping of our kids stem from? It stems from us. In today’s world we hear about every child abduction and every hurt suffered by children around the globe. It feels like a lot. And it feels like it is getting worse when in fact it is getting better.

The world is a safer place now than it was when we were children.

Did that surprise you? Well, it’s true. Today is a safer place for our kids and yet we protect them as if there were predators around every corner. (I know, I know, I am perfectly capable of imagining all sorts of awful, fearful things myself!) But it’s unhealthy. Our fears are keeping our kids indoors. Our fears are keeping them from playing in an active and free way. Our fears are causing them health problems.

When we hover over (bubble wrap) our children they don’t gain independence.

Kids need to be outside. Kids need to learn independence.

So today, take your kids to the playground and leave them there. Even if you have to sit on the curb half a block away and sneak peeks back at them playing just to make sure they are still okay. (Or even send them with a walkie talkie so they can check in every half an hour.) Our neighbourhood’s playground is literally right outside our window and I would be lying to say I don’t peek out that window when my eldest is out there playing. (Don’t worry, I check on your kids too.)

Playground moms build a community.

On the flip side, my past presence in the park is one of the things that makes other moms feel safe letting their kids go to the playground unattended. I am a part of our neighbourhood, yet I am not a busybody. I am what you might call a playground mom. Many of the kids know my eldest and know who I am. I’ve provided water, bathroom breaks, and bandaids. And as my daughter grows older and gains more independence, I spend less and less time in the playground (although more and more again as Jr. gets his feet under him).

Never have I had to chase off any bad guys, call an ambulance, nor break up any fights. I’ve never even had to walk an injured kid home. These kids look out for each other and have developed some surprising agility and skills. Man, those kids have built up some death-defying climbing acts over the years! But it is because they are able. And they are able because they have learned their own personal limits. They also look out for each other like you wouldn’t believe.

How to reseed playgrounds with children.

If you are still worried about leaving your kids in the park alone, hang out with them for awhile. Let them play while you keep your nose buried in a book. Act like you aren’t there. Let them solve their own problems, make their own friends, make their own games. Keep your lips shut and let them go as much as you are able to. Slowly you will be able to give them more independence and eventually, stay home while they play.

One thing I’ve noticed that makes us moms feel safe in leaving our kids unattended in a local park is the neighbourhood community. If you don’t have one–build one! Talk to other parents. Get to know the neighbours and their kids. Drink your coffee on the front step. Walk the neighbourhood, wave, and say hi.

These simple things make a neighbourhood and community, and when you have a neighbourhood and people know you and know your kids you feel safer letting your kids out. Right? Right.

Flip side to you being out and about? You are helping other moms and dads let their kids roam. Why? Because they see you out there and know other people are out there looking out for their kids. We need to do this together.

Take action.

So, what are we going to do today? We’re going to take our kids to the park to engage in some old-fashioned, independence-building free play. And then what are we going to do? We’re going to chat with some of the other parents. And then what? We’re going to leave our kids at the park!

And they are going to love it.

The official “event” is today, Saturday, May 19th at 10AM. (But I think we should do it every day!)

It starts with us. Go to it.

Enjoy!

Want to read more on this? Check out Time’s article as well as Lenore Skenazy’s blog.

P.S. If you want to learn more about the health benefits of free outdoor free play for kids, sign up for my newsletter (it’s free and all about fun and play!) which will be all about outdoor play in this coming edition. It’ll include ways to get outdoors and get those kids playing and having a blast!
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