Got your Scaredy Pants on? How about swapping them for some Brave Pants this weekend?

I Double Dare and Triple Dog Dare You To Do Something “Scary” With Your Kids

I was emailing with Lenore Skenazy (one of my heroes in parenting and a woman I admire greatly) today and she noted that I had fallen into the scaredy pants trap. (Although she was much nicer about pinpointing that.) What? ME? Falling into all those stupid fears out there that are based on myths, overactive imaginations, and too many bad news stories from across the globe? Yep. Just a little bit. (You can read her blog post and my comment which started the conversation. Hint: It has to do with taking candy from strangers.)

So with that in mind, I’m issuing a dare.

I dare you to take your kids out and do some “scary” activity (or let them do it alone) this weekend. Something you are normally too afraid to do. It can be something ballsy such as hanging out with honeybees (see above photo), or more mundane such as eating nonorganic veggies or drinking out of a water fountain. Maybe it’s something like letting your kids have a little more independence such as slicing a pear on their own, or riding their bikes around the block (without an adult tagging after them), letting your kids walk the two blocks to get the mail, playing in the park without an adult, letting your teens go to the pool alone, or… whatever you feel will test your parenting scaredy pants.

Let it go and see what happens.

And no, I am not saying to let your kids take off with strangers or anything crazy like that. I’m talking about little things that have grown ‘scarier’ in your head than they are in reality. Those things that make you clamp down on free play and allowing your children to go out in the world and develop their independence and explore new things.

For example: Will your kids really get some awful illness from using a water fountain? Or will it simply boost their immune system (–actually, know what? Water fountains tend to be cleaner than the keyboards we let our kids play on)? Will being stung by a bee really be the end of the world? Or will hanging with bees teach your kids some amazing things about insects and where their food comes from? Will letting your kids ride around the block really end in an abduction or a fatal accident? Or will it allow your kids to gain independence and skills that will actually make them tougher, more confident, more resilient, and a lot more street smart?

What are our kids missing due to our fears?

So today, I challenge you to look at your fears head on and see what is holding your kids back from playing freely and discovering more about this incredibly amazing world we live in. Tell me your thoughts in the comment section.

Play on.

P.S. What am I going to do? I may allow my 9-year-old to cross the ‘big’ road to go to the local convenience store alone. She’s gone with a friend, but never alone. How does that sound?

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Do you wear parenting scaredy pants? Does it interfere with your kids' lives? Triple dog dare you challenge: http://t.co/hOz2aZoM

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) August 24, 2012

Free Play is Naturally Sensory Play.

You don’t need specific, sensory activities (or tactile activities) for your child. Sensory tubs. Sensory this. Sensory that. A book on how to raise a sensory smart kid.

You are a good parent and childhood is naturally sensory. It’s difficult to raise a sensory “stupid” child.

However, if you look around on Pinterest boards you would think that 1 in 5 children had a sensory processing disorder.

At first I thought it was a really cool way to share activities for kids with sensory difficulties or with a sensory processing disorder. But then I realized something…

Not that many children can have sensory issues.

I looked it up. About 1 in 20 kids have sensory processing issues. This stat includes from the very minor to the extreme.

Want my opinion? Sensory processing disorders are the new buzz in parenting. Remember ten years ago how freaked out people were about raising emotionally intelligent kids? Suddenly all these kids were emotionally stupid. What were going to do???

But they’re kids. They are learning. They are developing. They are growing. Exploring. Experimenting. Every day is different.

And as parents? Well, we’re naturally ready and primed to freak out and get sucked in by marketing–yes marketing–ploys aimed at making us believe we are not good parents and that there is something we need to do or buy to help us raise better, smarter kids.

What else is happening? We’re restricting our kids and their play and their play time and filling that time with “healthy” structured activities that someone has sold to us as necessary. Sure, some structured activities are good, but what about free play time? Just because it is free and natural doesn’t mean it isn’t healthy and necessary. (We don’t question the need for sleep, do we?)

Play is the natural way for kids to develop the skills they need for life. As parents we need to get out of the way and let them play. We need to worry less about the idea that they need special help to become CEO of the world. If we want healthy, happy, future CEOs we need to let them play and be kids. Now. That’s how they are going to figure themselves out, solve their own problems, and become the people we want them to be. As well as develop sensory processing skills.

But the real question (excluding kids with genuine sensory wiring issues that makes it difficult for them to process sensory input) is how do you raise a sensory stupid child?

No. Really. I’m serious about this.

There’s a book called Raising a Sensory Smart Child. A title like that begs us to consider the opposite. If this is a solution, what is the problem? Is there a true, genuine problem?

As parents and as a society, have we lost that much faith in our children and in nature and in childhood and in the value of free play and have become so disconnected that we believe we need to interfere with sensory development in the average child? Because that’s what I see going on.

Picture a typical day in a child’s life.

If you let your kids play freely they are naturally going to experience sensory delights.

Take a moment to think about it. A typical day in a child’s world. What does it look like? Feel like? Sound like? Smell like? Taste like?

This is a sensory day in the life of my 1 1/2 year old son from a few weeks ago. He ate his breakfast with his hands. Yogurt (smooth, sweet, and gooey), toast (rough, but smoother on the inside). He pet the cat (furry and soft). He walked across the grass in his bare feet (pokey in places, soft and tickely in others). His sister tickled him under the chin. He wore a bike helmet and crawled across rocks which shifted and clanked under him. He played with the floppy, crinkly dustcover on my book. He curled up under his knit blanket for a nap and stuck his fingers through the knitting. He rode in the bumpy bike trailer and stole my metal and glass phone. He went out in the hot, bright sun. He felt the wind. Heard birds and dogs (and barked back). He turned on the stereo. He felt the heat from the hot oven when his sister opened the door. He held a freezing Creamsicle and felt in melt in his hands. He felt the back and forth rhythm of a swing.

If anything, he was overloaded with sensory delights.

How did he manage all this? By having a genuine childhood. A typical toddler day in the life.

If we let our kids play in nature and around the house and experience and engage and interact with life and their environment like they were born to do, they will learn much more about their senses and gain way more sensory input to gain those vital connections in their brains than if you give them a sensory tub filled with sand and a paintbrush and tell them to go at it. Sure, doing this will make you feel like you are actively parenting and developing your child. That you are doing something. But is it really giving your child a full sensory experience more than if you simply let them engage in free play and took them outdoors?

If we want to actively develop our kids’ sensory skills we need to let them play freely. Free play IS the answer. Not a paint brush and a box of sand in a padded room.

Do I have it wrong? Weigh in in the comment section. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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Free play is naturally sensory play for kids. http://t.co/gHKgizcn via @kidsplay #play #sensory #parenting #kids

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) July 25, 2012

Bring a Story to Life!

Let’s face it, sometimes it’s difficult to get kids interested in books as well as reading. But literacy is becoming increasingly important in our lives as more and more communication turns to the written form. Kids need to know how to read well, write well, and interpret words well. So how can we ensure that they develop these skills in a fun and meaningful way? (BTW, the average school-aged child’s literacy skills decline over the summer holidays. Eep!)

How about bringing a story to life?

The Story Behind This Story

Last year my nephew’s teacher handed her students a project to help them learn about the USA as part of a geography unit. They read the story of Flat Stanley* by Jeff Brown as part of her lesson plan. (My brother’s old copy is pictured above.) Then she had the students create their own Flat Stanley. (My nephew’s is pictured above.) And then, true to the storybook, they mailed their Flat Stanley off to a friend or relative in another part of the country; only Flat Stanley came to Canada. Once here, he gathered information about the area and geography. He also went on a photo shoot (see photo above). Then he traveled back home to the US and shared what he had discovered in a meaningful and interesting way for the kids. And you can bet your buttooshy they were intrigued and that they absorbed every tidbit. Why? Because they were suddenly invested in Flat Stanley. He had become interesting, real and multi-dimensional.

The Benefits of Bringing a Story to Life

When kids have the option of bringing a story to life it gives them something concrete to hang on to. It brings meaning to the story and can solidify the theme, characters, and plot in their minds. Kids learn best through play and by bringing a story to life by acting it, cooking it, crafting it, singing it, or what-have-you. It builds neural pathways in their developing brain. But the biggest thing is the way it boosts a child’s imagination, creativity, and even problem-solving. For how do you bring a story to life? And it also creates empathy and an interest in learning about others and what life would be like for them.

So many wonderful things.

How to Bring a Story to Life

There are dozens of ways to bring a story to life. Look to see what appeals to your child (i.e. drama, singing, crafting, etc.) and get creative. But of course, choose a great story first. It can even be as simple as a book about big trucks. The sky is the limit–or your imagination. Whichever comes first.

Hints: Google the story’s title and “lesson plans” or pick a theme or element of the story and Google it to help juice up your inspiration. (Also look up The Hungry Caterpillar on Pinterest.com for tons of crafts ideas associated with that picture book if you are stuck. It’s a popular book with tons of story crafts and activity ideas built by teachers due to the way it fits so nicely into the science curriculum.) In the meantime, here are a few ideas that might help get the ball rolling for some story-inspired play with your kids:

• Create the book’s main character in the book as a craft (sock puppets, toilet paper roll characters, paper dolls…).
• Reenact the story’s plotline.
• Act out the story with costumes, voices, and mix up the plot. Change the characters or what they have to accomplish. It can be a great way to springboard some very creative play.
• Build story-themed crafts or other projects. It could even be a bird house or bird feeder for a bird themed book.
• Cook story-related food (my daughter’s class hosted a fairy tale feast last year which was a huge hit. What did she decide to bring? The Poisoned Apple (Slices) from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.).
• Toys. Bring them into the mix. A dinosaur book? Gather up those plastic dinosaur figurines and let ’em rip!
• Sing it. Sing the story. Sing about the characters and their emotions and how they are feeling or thinking. Make it a musical. Sing the story or simply make up your own lyrics.

Have you brought a book to life for your kids? Is there a storybook you think might make a fun project for your kids and instigate some story-based & inspired free play? Share it in the comment section. I love to hear from others.

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How "Flat Stanley" saved the geography lesson and made a story come alive for nonreaders. via @KidsPlay http://t.co/GfFwxIIH

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) July 16, 2012

* Flat Stanley is a story about a boy, Stanley, who is flattened by his bulletin board while he is sleeping. He wakes up just fine, but is now rather flat. As part of the story he wants to go visit a friend. Being short on cash, his parents fold him up and mail him off to visit his friend.

It’s hot. It’s summer. Water is good. Being active is good.

How can we combine it all? In a kayak!

What is a Kayak?

A kayak is a traditional water craft that was invented by the Inuit of the north. Originally it was built using a wooden frame  covered in seal skins. Today’s kayaks are made of all sorts of great plastics and other new-age materials. In fact, last weekend out in the mountains we saw a couple out in inflatable kayaks! (They don’t recommend them as they are a lot of work to inflate and put together. The one I am going out in tomorrow won’t be inflatable nor made from seal skin. I’m sticking to space age materials. )

Why Kayaks Rock For Kids

Kayaks are easy for kids to use because of their double-ended paddles. In other words, they have that great scoop on each end making it simple for kids to hold and paddle. As well, kayaks are lower to the water and surprisingly stable meaning it is easy for kids to reach the water to paddle (compared to a canoe), control, maneuver, and basically have a rip roaring good time with little in terms of knowledge or even great motor control.

Kayaks for Kids Tips

If you aren’t sure about letting your offspring out in a kayak alone, consider these ideas:

• Try a double kayak. These kayaks hold two people so a parent can go out with their kids meaning you can take longer outings without worrying your child will wander off, get super frustrated, or get tuckered half way to your destination. As well, many of the non-molded seat kayaks allow you to take out the extra seat and move the remaining seat to the middle making it a single kayak.

• Tie a rope to the end of the kayak. If your child is out in a kayak alone, consider tethering them. You can tether their kayak to a dock, to your kayak, or simply hold the end of the rope or buoyant heaving line as they paddle about. If they get in trouble, you can reel them back in.

• Consider a simple, light weight, wide and stable kayak. In other words, an all round, all purpose kayak (inexpensive–more for fun & mucking about than serious rough water use) that maybe doesn’t even have a hole to sit in. (You sit on top and the top is molded down making it a simple place to sit without worries of having your child get stuck if they do manage to tip the thing over. (Surprisingly difficult to do with most kayaks.)

• When learning how to kayak, choose the shallows. Also choose a water area with little to no wake or waves. Don’t use a skirt (tucks around your waist and holds you into the kayak and keeps the waves out) on the kayak that will hold your child in. Let them fall out of the kayak instead. As well, ALWAYS make sure your child wears a proper fitting lifejacket. Make sure the local waters are safe (no undertow, far from weirs, no swift currents, etc.). Also be sure to place the boating emergency kit that is required for your area in the kayak. These emergency boating kits often include items such as a buoyant heaving line, a working flashlight, whistle, and bailing bucket.

How to Get Your Hands on a Kid-Friendly Kayak:

Rent one! See if you like kayaking. Sporting good places sometimes rent them as do some camps, and sometimes there will be a rental place right there at your favourite lake.

Borrow one! Know someone who has the gear? See if you can borrow it or if they will take you out.

Second hand! Check the local paper, check online… you know the drill.

Specialty sporting goods stores! Ask an expert what they think you may need and get yourself outfitted. (Sometimes you can rent an item and if you decide to purchase it, your rental cost will go towards the cost of purchase.)

Ready? Let’s go kayaking with the kids!

Enjoy!

How about you? Have you been out kayaking? Have your kids? What did you/they think?

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It’s Tweetable (made easy):

Tips, ideas, & suggestions on how to get the kids kayaking. Fun & easy! via @KidsPlay http://t.co/uvb9KYUK

— Jean Oram (@KidsPlay) July 12, 2012

We came across these very friendly gophers (Richardson Ground Squirrels/Prairie Dogs) on one of our summer road trips. Very tame. And they knew what our cooler contained. Fancy that.

Sometimes it can drive us parents slightly bonkers when we set a nice meal on the table only to be joined by a dog dressed as our youngest child. They try to eat without hands. Try to lap the water out of their glass (if they haven’t already asked for an accommodation in the form of a water dish). Their communication has been reduced to indecipherable yips, barks, growls, and slobbering. And yet they don’t eat the food off the floor…

Pretend Play is Beneficial for Kids

Sure, sometimes it tries our patience. But when kids are pretending to be an animal they are actually learning. (And no, not what makes mom and dad hit the roof. Seriously, do you have to pretend I am a fire hydrant? And no, I will not tie this cord around your fragile neck and take you for a walk. Ah!)

Kids learn through play. And by pretending to be an animal, they are experiencing what it is like to be that creature. Via play they are discovering an animal’s point of view and developing empathy for that animal (as well as others). And by learning about others, they are in turn, learning about themselves and how they differ from animals. And the best way to learn that is by being hands on.

What Animal Are You?

My daughter has worn the knees in many a pair of jeans pretending to be horses and dogs. Perennial favourites for her. Although the way she eats resembles a chipmunk–as did I at that age. Hmmm. And in a few minutes my one-year-old will wake from his nap meowing like a cat. Let’s hope he doesn’t chase the chipmunk!

Welcome to the Oram Family Zoo. Admission is free and you are welcome to pet and feed the animals. They are mostly tame.

What animal would you like to be today? How about your kids?

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